Judy Dunagan

Writer | Wonder Seeker

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Not About Us

May 15, 2019

What if it’s not all about us?

For years I have read blogs, articles, books and Bible studies that are all about us . . . about our identity, calling, purpose . . . about how God defines us, names us, sees us, love us.

All important and needed messages for our searching hearts.

But it can also be too much. Too much us.

While visiting my daughter and son-in-law last week—the week of my new grandson’s birth—I started reading a book from the teachings of Nee T’o-sheng, known as Watchman Nee.

Between rocking and cuddling our newborn boy, I’ve been reading Nee’s The Breaking of the Outer Man. The book is from his teaching in 1948 to coworkers in China, just a year before the Cultural Revolution. In 1952 he was imprisoned for his faith and remained in a Communist labor camp until his death in 1972.

Nee languished in prison for twenty years. His beloved wife was the only one who could visit him during those years and she died a year before his death. 

Twenty years in a labor camp—then dying alone there—just for being a follower of Jesus Christ.

We are told that when he died there was no announcement.

No funeral. 

No eulogy. 

No pomp and circumstance . . . at least not here on earth.

His body was cremated in prison before two of his relatives could even get there to view his body.

Nee’s grandniece recounted the time when she received the news of his death:

“In June 1972, we got a notice from the labor farm that my granduncle had passed away. My eldest grandaunt and I rushed to the labor farm. But when we got there, we learned that he had already been cremated. We could only see his ashes. . . . Before his departure, he left a piece of paper under his pillow, which had several lines of big words written in a shaking hand. He wanted to testify to the truth which he had even until his death, with his lifelong experience. That truth is—‘Christ is the Son of God who died for the redemption of sinners and resurrected after three days. This is the greatest truth in the universe. I die because of my belief in Christ. Watchman Nee.’ When the officer of the labor farm showed us this paper, I prayed that the Lord would let me quickly remember it by heart. . . . My granduncle had passed away. He was faithful until death. With a crown stained with blood, he went to be with the Lord. Although Nee did not fulfill his last wish, to come out alive to join his wife, the Lord prepared something even better—they were reunited before the Lord.”

Oh to be like him, never wavering from our love for Jesus no matter the cost. I don’t think we’ll ever fully grasp the impact of Nee T’o-sheng’s earthly life (Nov. 4, 1903–May 30, 1972). Though I don’t agree with everything he’s written—some think others wrote under his name when he was in prison—I do know that decades later his testimony has been part of my self-focused, self-loving undoing this early May in 2019 . . . while holding my newborn grandson.

Nee’s life reminds me of the apostle Paul’s heart’s cry:“For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” 1 Corinthians 2:2

Will you join me in worshiping Him today as the One who is WORTHY of all of our praise . . .

Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!
Psalm 115:1

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  1. Connie says

    May 15, 2019 at 1:18 pm

    Thanks for the great reminder that the focus is Christ crucified not ME! Very timely blog this morning. To God be the glory!

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 15, 2019 at 1:37 pm

      I’m so glad, dear Connie. This one was hard to post, but hopefully you can keep me accountable when there is too much “me” in our conversations.

      Reply
  2. CarOl says

    May 15, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    Beautiful. This came to mind as I read:
    “God is never more glorified in us than when we are completely satisfied in Him.” -piper

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 15, 2019 at 1:36 pm

      Amen, dear Carol!

      Reply
  3. Nancy Lissarrague says

    May 15, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    I thank God for blessing you with the gift of words, so that you, in turn, can bless us! Very touching and convicting.

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 15, 2019 at 1:35 pm

      Thank you, dear Nancy. This one was tough to write (and admit).

      Reply
  4. Judy Tollberg says

    May 15, 2019 at 1:56 pm

    Amazing story! It’s not all about us! It’s all about Jesus!
    Thanks for sharing Judy!!! Great food for thought and action!

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 15, 2019 at 2:02 pm

      Thanks, Judy T.! You live these truths out in your life, truly!

      Reply
  5. Kelly Hall says

    May 15, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    Thanks Judy for contributing to the “undoing” work in my own life. The glimpse into the life of one who has gone before us —inspiring indeed. Currently I am the care giver for our sweet daughters who are battling through difficult illnesses….so thankful to our Lord who is worthy of all praise. Thank you for posting my friend.

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 15, 2019 at 2:22 pm

      Oh, dear Kelly, you model this so well through your own life. I’m so sorry to hear that your darling girls are battling many illnesses. Please know I am praying for you and them!

      Reply
  6. Debbie says

    May 15, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    The breaking of the outer woman is not a popular subject but a deeply biblical one. A conversation needed in a culture that is about us finding ourselves, accepting ourselves and being ourselves. Is that why Paul writes , ” the love of God compels me so that I no longer want to live for myself but for him? ( 2 Cor 5) Redemption is about God’s love not our identity. While I know it’s important to have an understanding of identity, maybe it’s more important to have a deep experience of His Love in a way that causes us to cast self aside in favor of living all and only for the God who rescued us and loves us. There is so much in scripture that is contrary to today’s culture … thanks for opening this conversation and for posting this blog.

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 15, 2019 at 2:21 pm

      Thank you, Debbie! Such powerful words and I love that verse as well from 2 Cor 5. Oh, that we’d live for Him . . . only Him.

      Reply
  7. Leslie Kuechenmeister says

    May 15, 2019 at 2:24 pm

    Thank you Judy. I have been saying this for years. We are raising a generation in our church’s that think it’s all about how they “feel”.🙄Serving Jesus is not a feeling. It is a commitment to self sacrifice- taking up His cross in total surrender. Thank you for speaking hard truth 🛐

    Reply
  8. Crickett Keeth says

    May 15, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    Wow, this is powerful! Makes me want to read that book. Thanks for pointing us to Him.

    Reply
  9. DOREASE RIOUX says

    May 15, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    With streaming tears, I say thank you for this much-needed message.
    Profound.

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 15, 2019 at 5:23 pm

      Dorease, Grateful that He is using it to speak to your heart!

      Reply
  10. Cary Valdes says

    May 15, 2019 at 4:57 pm

    Omygoodness! I so agree with this! Thank you for this reminder. I turn 50 this year, perhaps it time to read this book myself. Blessings!

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 15, 2019 at 5:23 pm

      Blessings back to you, Cary! And you are young, just turning fifty! : )

      Reply
  11. Julia Warton says

    May 15, 2019 at 10:28 pm

    Love this truth, my beautiful friend. I have also enjoyed Bible study with Jen Wilkin who is always reminding her students that the Word is about Him… what are we learning and as a result loving about our Awesome God? Who is HE? He is worthy of all glory and honor and praise. HE possesses all power, love, grace, wisdom, and majesty. Humbled and bowed down before Him with you! Love you… xo Julia

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 15, 2019 at 10:56 pm

      Love your heart, Julia!

      Reply
  12. Kim Erickson says

    May 17, 2019 at 5:32 pm

    You’re such an inspiration, Judy. Thanks for speaking truth into our lives and encouraging us to return to worship of the one true God! Plus, the songs were so good & perfect for me today. Thanks!

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 17, 2019 at 5:46 pm

      So grateful! Thanks, Kim!

      Reply
  13. Carolyn says

    May 18, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Yes! I love this!! Powerful word, Judy! (Watchman Née books were part of my parents’ library long ago. I read some of his works back in the 80’s and 90’s. They moved me too!)

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      May 19, 2019 at 1:50 pm

      Carolyn, I had also read some of his writing way back, but had forgotten his life story. For some reason the fact that his death was not marked with honor after all he went through and sacrificed really struck me. We so often want to be noticed/acknowledged/honored. And yet, Nee humbly wrote a note and tucked it under his pillow before his death to continue to proclaim what Jesus Christ has done for us.

      Reply
  14. denise Heidel says

    August 1, 2019 at 2:32 am

    I know you wrote this a couple of months ago, but the timing is very interesting for me. Literally just had this conversation with a friend the other day that sometimes — our faith is focused too much on ourselves and too little on Him. It’s an important reminder. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      August 2, 2019 at 7:52 am

      Yes. Something that I need to be reminded of often.

      Reply
  15. Gretchen Ronnevik says

    August 1, 2019 at 2:38 am

    I love this so much. To him be the glory.

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      August 2, 2019 at 7:51 am

      Yes. All glory and honor to Him.

      Reply
  16. Caryse Harrell says

    August 4, 2020 at 12:02 pm

    This was beautifully written from your heart. You clearly seek to glorify God. Thank you for sharing. I agree with you in my prayers for God to be glorified and never myself. God bless you and your family and all of our faithful brothers and sisters in Christ who are suffering for His glory.

    Reply
    • Judy Dunagan says

      August 13, 2020 at 7:54 pm

      Thank you, Caryse! I am thankful this encouraged you!

      Reply

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About Judy

My story as a “wonder seeker” began with a prayer one morning on my way to work. For many years I was a women’s ministry leader at our church, keeping busy teaching women’s Bible studies, planning conferences, and encouraging other women to put their hope in Jesus. But in the midst of all that out-of-breath-serving-Him-busyness­­, I realized that I missed Him. Read More

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